The holidays can be busy and exhausting, but what if they don’t have to be that way? My favorite motto for increasing family connection is, Connection, not perfection, and I find that the holidays are a time when this motto really helps me be more present and able to enjoy my family more.
Each year my mind fills with fantastic ideas of what to make, bake and create for the holidays, but honestly, it’s WAY more than I can really take on. Even if I could get done all the fun things that I want to do, I wouldn’t have time left to just enjoy being around my family.
So- I’ve been practicing taking a good look at my priorities and getting a bit more realistic. As I said, “connection not perfection.”
Do you want a more connected, less frantic holiday season?
Great! Bounceback Parents believe in having a growth mindset about parenting – meaning we know we can learn, grow and change if things aren’t working, and that includes our own holidays. Here’s what to think about as you move towards connection not perfection at the holidays:
1. Be gentle – We don’t have to change it all at once. Holidays can hold a lot of memories, expectations and potential for emotions to run high. Think about the overall feelings and experiences you want to create. Ask yourself to back way up and look at the look at your the big picture.
You’ve got kids excited about the holidays who want time with you and who love the sparkling lights, hot cocoa and presents. They’re seeing magic in chipped Christmas ornaments, Charlie Brown Christmas Trees and repetitive Christmas music. When you can get some perspective it helps you let go of trying to get every detail right. This is where the phrase connection not perfection first came into use for me.
2. Just because you’ve always done something, doesn’t mean you always have to do it. – Speaking of expectations…as you move towards more meaningful holidays, you may notice traditions that you do without questioning, even when they don’t really work any more. It’s worth asking yourself if it’s time to make a change.
3. Think ahead about what matters most to you – This way you can let go of the rest more easily. Taking a moment to think ahead of time about what is most important to you can help give you clarity and confidence when making choices about what other events you say yes to, who you include in family events and what you are willing to be flexible about.
4. It’s not to late to start new traditions – To our kids, something done twice becomes tradition, it doesn’t have to be something done since your grandmother was a baby.
Here are some of my favorite resources for creating fun, meaningful and connected holidays:
- Making Homemade Holidays Without Making Ourselves Crazy
- Creating Holiday Traditions Your Family REALLY Loves
- Choosing not to be busy.
Remember: Connection not Perfection!
If you’d like more support in having a connected family, we hope you will join us in Bounceback Parenting’s Learning Lounge, where we practice connection not perfection and becoming Bounceback Parents, able to grow and learn together.