100 Ways to be Kind to Your Child
When I wrote this list of 100 Ways to be Kind to Your Child I was in one of those exhausting phases of parenting where days were going by in a blur and I often went to bed feeling defeated and guilty. Thus, these ways to be kind are not complex or fancy; they are basically a reminder to myself of the simple ways I can connect with and be there for my children. Many of them will remind you of ways you already are showing your love to your kids.
Thank you for spreading kindness for our children.
100 Ways to be Kind to Your Child
Tell your child:
1. I love you.
2. I love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry at me.
4. I love you even when I am angry with you.
5. I love you when you are far way. My love for you can reach you wherever you are.
6. If I could pick any 4 year old (5 year old, 6 year old…) in the whole wide world, I’d pick you.
7. I love you to the moon and then around the stars and back again.
8. Thank you.
9. I enjoyed playing with you today.
10. My favorite part of the day was when I was with you and we _______.
Share:
11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you cuddled them when they were a baby.
13. The story of their name.
14. A story about yourself when you were their age.
15. The story of how their grandparents met.
16. What your favorite color is.
17. That sometimes you struggle too.
18. That when you’re holding hands and you give three squeezes, it’s a secret code that means, “I love you”.
19. What the plan is.
20. What you’re doing right now.
Play:
21. Charades
22. Hop Scotch
23. Board Games
24. Hide & Seek
25. Simon Says
26. Twenty Questions
27. I Spy on long car rides
28. Catch
Pretend:
29. To catch their kiss and put it on your cheek.
30. That their tickle tank is empty and you have to fill it.
31. That their high five is so powerful it nearly knocks you over.
32. That you are super ticklish.
33. That you are explorers in the amazing world of your own backyard.
34. That it’s party day!
Try:
35. To get enough sleep.
36. To drink enough water.
37. To eat decent food.
38. Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
39. Calling a friend the next time you feel like you are about to lose it with the kids.
40. Giving a gentle touch to show approval.
41. Dancing in the kitchen.
42. To get your kids to bop to the music with you in the car.
43. Showing your kids that you can do a somersault or handstand or a cartwheel.
44. Keeping the sigh to yourself.
45. Using a kind voice, even if you have to fake it.
Read:
46. A book of silly poems.
47. A story and then act out the plot.
48. Your favorite childhood book to them.
49. When the afternoon is starting to go astray.
50. Outside under a tree.
51. In the library kids corner.
52. The comic book they love that you’re not so hot on.
53. About age appropriate behavior so you can keep your expectations realistic.
Listen:
54. To your child in the car.
55. To silly songs together.
56. For that question that means your child really needs your input.
57. One second longer than you think you have patience for.
58. For the feelings behind your child’s words.
Ask:
59. Why do you think that happens?
60. What do you think would happen if______?
61. How shall we find out?
62. What are you thinking about?
63. What was your favorite part of the day?
64. What do you think this tastes like?
Show:
65. Your child how to do something instead of banning them from it.
66. How to whistle with a blade of grass.
67. How to shuffle cards – make a bridge if you can!
68. How to cut food.
69. How to fold laundry.
70. How to look up information when you don’t know the answer.
71. Affection to your spouse.
72. That taking care of yourself is important.
Take Time:
73. To watch construction sites.
74. To look at the birds.
75. To let your child pour ingredients into the bowl.
76. To walk places together.
77. To dig in the dirt together.
78. To do a task at your child’s pace.
79. To just sit with your child while they play.
Trust:
80. That your child is capable.
81. That you are the right parent for your child.
82. That you are enough.
83. That you can do what is right for your family.
Delight:
84. Clean your child’s room as a surprise.
85. Put chocolate chips in the pancakes.
86. Put a love note in their lunch.
87. Make their snack into a smiley face shape.
88. Make sound effects while you help them do something.
89. Sit on the floor with them to play.
Let Go:
90. Of the guilt.
91. Of how you thought it was going to be.
92. Of your need to be right.
Give:
93. A kind look.
94. A smile when your child walks into the room.
95. A kind touch back when your child touches you.
96. The chance to connect before you correct so that your child can actually hear your words.
97. Your child a chance to work out their frustrations before helping them.
98. A bath when the day feels long.
99. A hug.
100. You get to choose the next one! What is your favorite way to be kind to your child?
In case you’d like a visual reminder of this list…
There is now a beautiful print available for 100 Ways to be Kind to Your Child!
Get yours in my Etsy shop here!
100 Ways to be Kind to Your Child was written in February 2012 as a participating blogger for Toddler Approved’s 100 Acts of Kindness Challenge. I spent a month knowing I would be writing about how to be kind to your children. It’s not that I don’t want to be kind to my kids all the time, but honestly, it made a real difference to be thinking about this list.
When I consciously decided to find ways to be kind to my kids I found I was catching myself more often before I sighed impatiently. I started finding more times to make kind eye contact, or smile. These are just little shifts, but they add up.
Thanks for stopping by!
64 Positive Things to Say to Kids
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I love the simplicity of these tips. Especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed by trying to meet our kids’ needs, and our own, anything more complicated than remembering to say “I love you even when I am angry with you” can easily just add to the stress! Having these easy reminders on hand is so helpful! Laughing together has been one of my favorite ways to share kindness with my kiddos, from the baby years (how adorable are those little coos and giggles??) and even now as we enter the teen years. Whether it’s learning to laugh at silly things we say or do during the day, or sharing age-appropriate jokes (some of our favorites have come from this list of kids jokes: https://www.upparent.com/questions/funny-jokes-for-kids), laughter is such a wonderful way to bond and feel a connection with one another!
So many great positive parenting tips here. The best way to teach you child to be kind is to be kind yourself:)
A facebook friend of mine shared your posts that reminded me I need to do these positive words of affirmation with all in my family. My special needs daughter tends to thrive with words of affirmation and the list you shared is excellent. Thank you.
Glad they’ve inspired you! All my best,
AM
I have got your site through Lemonlime blog, you own such a wonderful parenting blog.
I hardly use less than 50 of these interaction with my kids, I have noted everything on a notepad on my phone to read it later whenever I stuck handling my kids. These are golden nuggets for parenting.
Thanks Alissa.
oh i love love love your list and wish i could get it into the hands of every parent. thank you so much for this. xx best wishes for a happy 2019! xx
What a beautiful, concrete, and comprehensive list. Thank you so very much for writing this, Alissa. I’ll add my favorite: Leave a love note for your child someplace where she or he will find it when you’re not around. Draw his or her favorite animal. Use colors and stamps.
I really love this list!
Thanks, Alissa. I’m looking forward to buy your book on Etsy.
Thank you so much for this list. It’s been two years since my husband has been gone. So glad I discovered your blog. I’ve used most of your suggestions for anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day and for just any day that I choose. All of the suggestions have really helped me to get through each day. I always forward your blog to others who are grieving or helping those who are grieving. Thank you.
Valuable article, this article shows how parents can be their kids friend. I really appreciate this, because with the help of this article now parents can understand how they handle their kids situation.
What a great list! Thank you for sharing
I absolutely love this list and will utilize all those I don’t already. I must say some children/adults seriously can’t tolerate being tickled at all. Obviously, I was one of those. My wonderful, loving Dad thought I enjoyed it since I laughed. I didn’t enjoy it as a toddler and still don’t. This blog is needed by so many. Thank you for your positive encouragement and ideas for parents.
Very helpful and useful information, also read this:https://www.indiaparenting.com/manners-and-discipline/97_6629/how-to-raise-polite-kids.html
What a beautiful post, Alissa! This made me smile & also brought on a tear or two! Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing.
That question mark supposed to be a HEART. It just doesn’t read emoji..
🙂 Thanks for your kind words!
You are a BLESSING, dear. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Good luck for you. Wishing happiness for your whole family. My thanks for those who comment – you’re amazing, guys. Sending hugs from Ukraine. ?
It is very important to guide our kids about kindness. I am very much impressed by your tips and love this blog. Thanks for sharing.
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I absolutely love this poster. I have the older version. The day I got it in the mail, I hung it up on the inside of my bathroom door. Like most moms, my bathroom is my fantasy island. My fantasy island seat directly faces the door, so it is a great reminder to read a few ideas when I need it most. Thank you Alissa!
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I loved this! Thank you!
Just another addition :
I have put a sweet note under their pillow at times for them to wake up to…. It’s like a morning surprise after they make their bed 🙂
I love that idea
Thanks for sharing.
You are an inspiration of kindness and empathy towards our children and others.
https://www.gandhijayanti.co.in/2015/09/gandhi-jayanti-essay-kids-hindi.html
Spend extra money on memory-making activities and vacations rather than more “stuff”.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to put this together and for sharing so many valuable insights!
You are an inspiration of kindness and empathy towards our children and others.
At the end of busy days, weeks, months..years ( quote: the days are long, the years are short), what really matters is how we connected with our children, how we let them feel loved the way they are with their smiles and with their frowns.
Thank you 🙂
check this out so sweet!
No matter what the circumstances we can always be kind. – one of my favorite mama mottos!
I love her work! I did a course with her, too…. So good!!
Thanks so much for sharing these tips to help your children know how much you love them. Parenting can be hard work sometimes! I will print this list out and try and do something from each category every day. I love how you broke them down into categories like “play, trust and give.”
https://www.apcnorfolk.org/?t=parenting
Love these!
<3
Love this!
This is such a wonderful poster – so spot on and in tune with what really matters to kids. Thank you!
I love the idea of being able to pretend with my kids. There is something about someone being able to have that kind of personality that really can make a child’s imagination grow. These tips really are great for those who are looking to start their own child care business as well. Thank you for sharing. https://www.sunrisemontessori.net/contact.html
Love this, sharing on Great Parenting Show facebook page. We all need a reminder sometimes
@Laura “Relax! Or your kids will die of cancer!” Good one Laura – that ought to do the trick nicely.
Could some clever person turn this into a simple app? I’m thinking a checklist for each category? I know it’s kind of lame, but it’s much more practical than carrying around a poster or a piece of paper to remind one of the little things we may forget.
How do we purchase posters? Please looks fab. Also a great visual reminder
Looks gorgeous!
Need one of these! Keep us posted.
Would be interested in these posters when you release them.
I have this saved on my home screen and read it every single day. We have tickle tank fill ups daily thanks to you. I find a new idea to try daily because of you. I just had to take a second to say thank you for this! U0001f499U0001f499U0001f499
I love that this list was made. There are so many excellent ways and tips to take care of children. My favorite list item is teaching a child how to whistle with a blade of glass. It’ is so much fun! https://www.akarrasel.com/
Fantastic tips!
One of my all time favorite posts.
I would love to include this blog post in our newsletter to families at our church. Would it be possible to get your permission to reprint? If so, how would you like for us to acknowledge your website, blog post, authorship, etc? Thank you
SherrySiedenburg Yes, exactly. In the short sentence written above I don’t go into the intricacy of touch relationship, but I strongly agree that it is critical to teach that stop means stop no matter who is saying it, and to show that parents will stop. Our kids ask for their tickle tank to be filled when they’re in the right mood, but it isn’t assumed that it’s just ok to grab them.
That would be the appropriate time to teach that the words “no” & “stop” are to be honored.