Imperfect Parenting Archives

Imperfect Parenting

We’re learning how to create a resilient, emotionally healthy family culture. Here you’ll find honest parenting stories and ideas for developing emotional safety in your family. We’re letting go of perfect, we’re forgiving ourselves over and over and we’re growing together.

Glad you’re here!

I am not psychologist or therapist, I am a mom who has studied and implemented ideas I’ve found on family systems, emotional well-being and connection for the sake of my own family, and I am a parenting mentor who has worked with other families helping them create more connection and positive communication in their own families. The perspectives shared here on Bounce Back Parenting come from my own experiences and studies.

I do my best to share honestly about the unexpected challenges, fears frustrations we’ve faced in our family, and many readers share in the comments as well. Knowing you are not alone is validating and comforting.

A few of my influences in regards to parenting and family include:
(These are Amazon affiliate links).

Mindset by Carol Dweck Ph.D.
Mindsight by Dan Siegel M.D.
Connection Parenting by Pam Leo
Taking the War Out of Our Words by Sharon Strand Ellison

What does it mean to be a resilient family?
First, we may need to change perspective here. A resilient family isn’t a fixed state of being, something you either are or are not. Family resilience is something we can grow over time by cultivating family processes and capabilities that allow us to cope with difficulties, learn from challenges, and solve problems together.
“Resilience can be defined as the capacity to rebound from adversity strengthened and more resourceful.” “What distinguishes healthy families is not the absence of problems or suffering but rather their coping and problem solving abilities.”
~Froma Walsh
Some of the topics I talk about here on Bounce Back Parenting that helps you develop greater resilience in your family include:

Practicing Presence: Trying to find a bit more mindfulness and bit less judgement in ourselves so that we increase the ability to pause and respond rather than simply reacting.
Strengths-Based Perspective: Empowering our children and ourselves. Developing a growth mindset in our families.
Open Communication: Improving the clarity of our communication through better listening, and deepening our understanding of our own communication habits and needs.
Emotional Health: Learning more about healthy experience and expression of emotions in ourselves and others.
Flexible Routines – Simplifying daily routines of family life to increase your ability to bounce back when the inevitable disruptions occur.

Here are a few of readers favorite posts on these topics, and of course you can find more in my other categories on connecting with kids, dealing with anger, and taking care of yourself.

Jan 8

6 Methods to Inspire Your Teen to Get Exercise

Many parents find themselves struggling to inspire their teens to get off the couch and start exercising; being physically active may be the last way a teen want to unwind after a day at school, work, or extracurricular activities. Teens who aren't active, however are at risk of developing poor [...]Continue Reading

Jul 18

How to Encourage Resilience – phrases and quotes for parents that help kids build resilience

At the beginning of my parenting journey I unknowingly passed by hundreds of opportunities for me and my kids to develop resilience. In my book Bounceback Parenting I explain that I made the mistake of thinking that my job was to make everything easy or comfortable for my kids. I often offered help [...]Continue Reading

Mar 23

What to do when your kid hits another child – How to teach the skill of self-motivated self-regulation (SMSR)

Today's article is about how to handle situations where one kid is hitting another. Author Vivek Patel shares how to handle this situation from a self-motivated, self-regulation standpoint rather than from a a fear-based self-regulation standpoint.How to teach the skill of self-motivated [...]Continue Reading

Dec 18

The First Step to Getting Out of Survival Mode – I Had to Let Go of the Fantasy

This post is an excerpt from my book Bounceback Parenting: A Field Guide for Creating Connection not Perfection. To enjoy my kids I had to come to grips with the fact that parenting would be nothing like I imagined and, in fact, many sweet, memorable moments often happen at the same time as the [...]Continue Reading

Dec 10

The Difference of 17 Seconds – a quick way to reduce anxiety

This post is an excerpt from my book Bounceback Parenting: A Field Guide for Creating Connection not Perfection. It's a tiny practice that really helps me listen better, manage anxiety and give people room to grow and be.The Difference of Seventeen Seconds “Are you ever going to let me finish [...]Continue Reading