Choosing Not To Be Busy
Choice. The central point of this series on “connection not perfection” has been to look at the choices we make surrounding the holidays. By making it a priority, we can choose connection.
During the holidays shopping and baking and wrapping and making can easily take over and lead to a household that feels busy and chaotic. We might buzz right through gift giving and holiday dinners hardly taking a breath. By the time it’s all over we’re left feeling drained and exhausted.
However, when we take out the holiday photos years from now, do we see any of that busy stress? Usually we see people we love, looking happy. We see children who have grown, and perhaps loved ones who are no longer with us. We see connection.
How can we experience that connection IN the moment?
You know, I don’t know the EXACT recipe to make this work for you; I certainly can get wrapped up in holiday busyness myself, but here’s what I’m trying to do this year:
- I’m reminding myself over and over “connection not perfection.”
- I’m choosing to plan less and give myself the luxury of time.
- I’m taking a breath and bringing myself present. Really looking at the faces of the people I love and appreciating that I am in the same room with them, quirks and all.
- I’m trying to laugh more and stress less.
- I’m letting go of the computer and the phone and pushing myself to really hear my children when they ask me to play a game.
- I’m thinking about the way my ninety year old grandmother gets tears in her eyes as she watches me play with my children. She tells me, “This time only comes once. Enjoy it.“
This time only comes once. Enjoy it.
Our children will only be this little for a short time. We are creating their childhood memories RIGHT NOW. How do we want to participate in those memories? Would you like to be a busy blur? A smudge in the holiday photos? Or do you want to be the person laughing with a baby on your lap? Better than that, do you want to be ninety and have a wealth of holiday memories to look back on that bring tears to your eyes, because you can still feel that connection you felt then?
This year, let’s choose not to be busy. Lets choose connection over perfection.
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Man, do we all need this post. I have made a concerted effort recently to talk/listen/ read/ play more with my kids. It makes me feel better, as a parent, and as a human. You know?
Fantastic post -I have young children too and completely agree.
Absolutely agree with everything! Well written.
So true. I am really feeling this way now after spending Black Friday in much quieter and centered way (https://theoutlawmom.com/2011/11/28/live-mindful-living-what-i-scored-on-black-friday-and-what-im-buying-this-cyber-monday/). Makes all the difference in our happiness and our children’s.
Nice, thanks for sharing your post Chrissy.
beautiful post!