Coordinating the baby’s nap schedule with older siblings – Community Q&A
By Alissa Marquess Zorn on April 25, 2013 (updated February 3, 2022)
Can you help?! Some questions that are better answered by the collective wisdom of the Creative With Kids community rather than just me. Share what you know in the comments!
How do you keep a baby’s nap schedule when you’ve got multiple kids?
Does anyone have any advice about coordinating schedules with multiple children? I have a preschooler and a baby and would love to to hear some different ideas about how to make our days work. My biggest problem is that it is difficult to maintain the baby’s nap schedule. Seems like it always gets delayed because we’re doing something with big brother. ~Leanna
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I have an 8, 5, 3, 1 year old. Sleeping on the go is fine. Really, once you have more children, you will be forced to be on the go a lot more often during the day picking up from preschool,elementary, etc. If we stay home in the morning, I try to keep my 13 month old up till 11 so he will take a good 3 hour nap and be fine the rest of the day. If he gets grumpy, I put him in the shower with me or play with him and it usually works out.=)
What wonderful comments!
We’ve got a 28 month old son, a 13 month old daughter, and another child due in 9 weeks—so they’re all 15.5 months apart. Ha! As Ashley mentioned above, I was very militant (and rather stressed and unsuccessful) with my first child’s nap routine. Also like Ashley, I found that the more consistent we were in nightime sleep, the better the day went. My daughter (#2) was born in March 2012 when the weather was pretty summery in Wisconsin (unlike this year where we had blizzards all spring).
Here’s what we did:
1. My daughter slept in a Moby wrap for any naptime that didn’t overlap with my son’s. Since she naturally didn’t incline toward a nap routine until month 4, keeping her on me let her have long, happy and consistent naps and gave me much needed personal time with my son. We spent almost every day outside! I would have expected this to make her a terrible sleeper, BUT because of the next point, she’s an awesome sleeper. Sidenote: my son hated the Moby but I think that was because I didn’t know what I was really doing with my first (who does?!).
2. We kept her nighttime routine consistent even if the time would adjust for weddings, family gatherings, etc. and if we were home or in a place with a crib, we set her down somewhat awake and let her sleep as long as possible between night feedings. We use an Armsreach CoSleeper for 0-6 months, and everything about this was even easier the second time around!
3. I put my oldest to nap and bed first, even if it meant my daughter would fuss while she waited for his routine to transpire. I found this gave me appropriate personal time with each child and made them both recognize the need for the other’s needs to be met (even when she was so very very little!).
4. Around her 4th month we transitioned her to her crib for naps by just reiterating the nighttime routine she already knew. I was able to continue play with my son during her morning naps by utilizing the monitor and accepting that we needed to enjoy our own front yard. ALSO:
5. …When we transitioned her to crib naps, my son would be walking in and out of the room. I found this actually helped form a more resilient, deeper sleep style in my daughter because between the Moby wrap and my son’s subdued antics, she’s accustomed to some noise.
Hope this helps! We plan to do the same when #3 comes along accept that we made quiet play activity boxes for my son to engage in while I’m napping the other two. I made 3 themes for the week and we just rotate them for the sake of interest. One theme is Animal, another is Vehicles, and the last is Art.
I think we had it backwards. We’d try to but baby down first.. but this often left the TV as the babysitter. So we switched it up. We take all 3 (4.5, 3 and 11 mos.) to the boys room read a short book. Put the boys down first then give baby a bottle and put her down. Then we know the boys are in their room and shortly fall asleep. then baby falls asleep. It has worked out way better this way!
My two kids are at pre-school while I work during the week, but when I have them on the weekends this is what I do:
After a nice trip to the park (or running around in our grassy common area) that has sufficiently taken LOTS of energy out of the both of them, we head back to the house. Lunch time! Sometimes BabyGirl will fall asleep on the way back, (if I took a stroller) and she eats when she wakes up. If I visit a park that requires us to drive, we will eat snack/lunch at the park before we leave, because BabyGirl will DEFINITELY fall asleep on the way back-TheBubbster could go either way.
Once BabyGirl (now 18 months) is finished eating, she goes straight to bed, with the door closed. She will whine and cry a little bit, but she is tired and will go to sleep. Then TheBubbster (now 3 1/2 years) gets to finish his lunch and have nice one-on-one time and conversation with ME (Mommie!). This is usually when he tells me the BEST stories! As soon as he is done, wash hands, peepee on the potty, and nap on Mommie & Daddy’s bed.
Yep, you heard that right! Although, at night, my kids share a room, daytime naps are in separate rooms. (If your kids don’t share a room, you won’t have this problem) This decision is 2-fold: 1-BabyGirl is a lighter sleeper at naptime than at bedtime. One crack of that door, or whimper from her borther, and we could have blown ‘Operation-Both-Kids-Sleeping’! 2-Since they fall asleep at different times, they wake up at different times. Just because one child has received sufficient rest, does not mean the other has. Why should the rest of us have to suffer for the remainder of the day with Cranky-Kid, because Sibling woke Sleeper up too soon?
I have come to accept the fact that when I have both kids, and how i choose to handle it, my nap window is smaller than it used to be. I have been lucky enough that both of my kids usually take 3 hour naps, so when their nap start times are staggered, my ‘alone time’ is shortened. However, I am thankful for what I can get! Plus, this allows me small moments of individual attention for each of my children. As I mentioned above, TheBubbster gets my time while BabyGirl is headed to dreamland, but BabyGirl is usually the first to rise. That time before her brother wakes up is filled with cuddles and giggles. I get to enjoy her without the usually ‘battle’ for attention (or toys).
Just how I do it.. but you gotta get the groove, and what works for your own family! I am thankful to only have to coordinate 2.. Lord knows what would happen if there were more (For ME)! I’m sure there are other Mommies out there that are stronger, wiser, and more patient than I! I NEED my nap window, even if it’s SMALL!
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~Heather Rebekkah =)
I have a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old. Naps are extremely important to me because I know they need them (almost as much as Mommy needs them!). When the baby was a newborn it was much easier because he slept no matter where we were. But once he hit about 6 months he started to boycott naps if we weren’t home and then I had to start making being home at nap time a priority. I still try to be flexible, however. I tell myself it’s okay if baby misses his morning nap 2 (maybe 3) times a week. Often, he winds up sleeping in the car so he doesn’t miss it entirely. But I make it a priority to be home at nap the rest of the week. If there’s errands I have to run I just make sure to get out of the house as quickly as possible once he’s up. I get everything ready while he’s sleeping (including shoes and coat on the toddler) so that when he wakes up I just have to change him and feed him and we can go. Both boys take an afternoon nap at about the same time so we rarely miss that time. My 2.5 year old naps 98% of the time, but he still sleeps in a crib so even if he doesn’t nap he’s still in bed for the 2 hours that he should be napping. I plan on enforcing a “quiet time” once he starts boycotting naps.
This can be a challenge–we always try to have a really good book that my 6 year old is excited about and then we have read aloud time during nap time. It has become kind of a special tradition. I am often wanting to get chores done, but it works so much better if I get some alone time with the 6 year old.
Thanks, everyone! It is really helpful to hear how others have managed this and also just to know that others have the same challenge!
my preschool and second child(tot) schedules are about the same( if they dont do things at the same time example eat and baths) they dont get done. oldest does not nap and goes to bed 30-1hr after him. but with the baby i just try to fit naps and feedings in when he needs them. its hard:-)
Ah this is the bane of my life… I have three kids in three separate classes this year (before that I had twins in the same class – much easier) and a toddler and keeping track of everything is a killer!
When the toddler was a baby trying to find blocks of time when he could sleep around half day preschool and school was difficult. As a little baby I wore him in a sling often so he just slept as I did everything else. When he was bigger I often tried to time sleeps with a car trip and carefully bring the baby out of the car asleep once we got home. By my fourth child I was really good at it! And our smallest knows nothing else but always being on the movie so he will sleep anywhere now!
Now it is keeping track of schedules and paper work for three classes and co-ordinating after school activities (even though we do very few) and still getting everything else done. I am still finding my feet with that, but four months into the school year and I am doing ok!
I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and I watch another 11 month old during the day. I have found that I have to be strict with it or I will never get anything accomplished. The babies still take a morning nap around 9-10 and then they all are down for their afternoon nap by 1pm. It was harder when the babies took multiple naps and I am sure it would also be harder if we were actually out and about, but since I watch the other baby, we are home mostly. How I do it is put one baby in a secure place and get the other one to bed and then put the 2nd down. For the afternoon nap, I put my son down first while the other baby eats his bottle and my 4 year old watches his naptime show, then I put the other baby down, and then the 4 year old is in bed by 1. The babies normally sleep until around 2-3 and my 4 year old sleeps until about 3. He is starting to cut out his naps, so not sure where we will be when that happens! Good luck! The only thing I can suggest is being consistent. If you are out and about doing stuff with the older one it will definitely be harder to coordinate their naps, but if you plan ahead and keep the baby up until nap time you can probably make it work.
I love this question.. I currently have a 2.5 year old and an 11 month old and we are expecting our third in September (how did that happen?). Naps and bedtime are very important for our family, however, I believe that most sleep habits/routines can be personal and usually about the needs of that particular family.
I find that good nighttime sleeping equals good daytime naps for us. We were fortunate to have (and make a priority) babies that sleep well at night and that transition from wakeful nights to restful nights always coincided with easier naps.
I remember being more militant about number 1’s infant nap schedule. I really never woke her up, whoever was with her tended to be home-based (although she did a lot of car sleeping too while I was teaching!). I’ve had to be much more flexible with number 2. I’ve found that he’s adapted well for the most part. He still needs to nap during the day, but he can go longer periods or can be wooed to sleep a little easer. Although both babes can sleep when we are out in the car, I’ve appreciated creating safe bed spaces for them both at home where they can easily get themselves to sleep or just rest with books. They see those places as comfort places.
We went with flexibility as well. I also found it easier to wear my newborn and young baby for naps she fell asleep quickly whilst I played with the older or did jobs and the style I had I was able to unwrap her and lay her down asleep then there was no missing of naps. She also quickly learnt to sleep anywhere from on the move to in the house it didn’t matter
We on the other hand try to be home after lunch for my one year old to nap. My 3 year old still naps sometimes, but otherwise he has mandatory ‘quiet time’ in his room. Our baby usually sleeps for 1 1/2- 2 hours, so my 3 yr old is in his room for at least an hour. I find he is usually very tired at this time of day as we are all up by 6 am.
I think if my daughter napped better on the go we would likely go out sometimes in the early afternoon, but she doesn’t. If they don’t nap/rest our nights are terrible! They are overtired and cranky.
That being said, I sometimes loathe being trapped in the house at nap time especially on sunny days but I do value our good sleeps at night 🙂
Oh, and I still use a baby gate across the doorway to his room! It works…he knows he needs to read or play quietly and he calms himself down (he is a very high energy boy).
Anyways, this works for our family. Once they are both up we get outside to a park or playground before dinnertime and get some more exercise.
HJ I do the EXACT same thing. At first I felt bad with the gate but my 2.5 yr old quickly realized that it wasn’t for punishing reasons. It works great so that he doesn’t interrupt while I try putting baby to nap. Highly recommended!!!!
My best advise is “be flexible”. If I stayed home to make sure my baby had naps in his crib at the same time every day, my 3yo and 2yo would have missed out on a lot of activities. It doesn’t hurt babies to sleep “on the go”.