Let Go of Your Perfect | Day 21 Creative Christmas Countdown
Today the topic was supposed to be about remembering loved ones. If things were perfect I would have written about that- I DO think about my dad (who died fifteen years ago in December) a lot at this time of year, but something else more pressing needs to be written about.
I have fallen victim to “The Perfect.” Yes, even when you have written about how not to get wrapped up in perfection during the holidays, you can still wind up holding out a “Perfect” in front of you.
Ohhh, it was sneaky this year. I didn’t even realize it was happening. It turns out, when your “Perfect Christmas” doesn’t involve all of the Hallmark trimmings (though my Perfect Christmas has some of those too) but when your perfect is more involved with spending time with family, baking and making things- you can wind up looking at other people’s “Perfect Christmas” ideals and feel like, “Haha! I’m not getting wrapped up in that. I’m not holding on to some huge crazy Christmas ideal.”
Oh dear. I know I’m in trouble any time I wind up judging other people’s ideals. CRUD
During a long conversation with my husband, during an overwhelmed and tearful conversation, (it’s hard to let go of your perfect. It’s rather humbling.) I realized still have my own Perfect, getting in my way of being present and enjoying what is.
Strangely some of my “Perfect” revolves around “never becoming stressed or overwhelmed.” Well- that’s out the window now.
::sigh:: OK- I have I have to let go of my OWN perfect. OK
I will have to call people and cancel our dinner plans. I will have to further edit the gift list as I’m not finished with some of them. Even though I started thinking about cards in the beginning of December, I still didn’t get around to printing them, so I think I’ll have to let those go for this year too. I’ve got to Let GO if I want any chance of enjoying this year as it is.
I admit it’s frustrating to feel like I need to let go of so much, but what I am trying to remember is:
- My kids are having a magical childhood. To them a sheet of shiny Christmas stickers is magic. It doesn’t take much!
- I might not have every last thing done that I hoped, but that’s alright. My children live in the present and see the magic of what is, and I can choose to let go.
- It is a busy year for us. If we are able to maintain connection with each other, we are doing well.
- If we don’t do every last exciting thing, heck, if we don’t do HALF the exciting things- that’s just motivation to find exciting ways to sprinkle magic into the rest of the year as well. No reason December should have all the fun.
So if you are stressing and worried, and it’s feeling like the avalanche of expectations is sweeping you away, take a deep breath and see if you can let go of your perfect.
It might make you feel vulnerable or upset, but it means that you will then be open to what is really happening. You won’t have an obnoxious and annoying Perfect getting in your way so you’ll be able to notice the unexpected moments of joy and the happiness that are already there.
You are enough. You are doing enough. If it feels like you can’t do anymore, but the world thinks you should- trust this: If you can’t do anymore, it is not you that is wrong. You are enough.
Let Go of Your Perfect.
Thanks for listening and helping me let go of mine. (I’ve loosened my grasp at least…)
Lets enjoy the next few days shall we?
{ Find the entire Creative Christmas Countdown calendar with links to all activities so far HERE}
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I am touched that this has been a meaningful post to so many of you. Thank you for letting me know. Wishing you the best.
i just love you! thank you
What an important post especially as we get so close to Christmas because we only have this short time left to enjoy this holiday with our family and friends and if we worry about trying to create the illusion of perfect we will miss enjoying this special time of year. Merry Christmas to you and your family, Alissa!
Thank you. You have changed our Christmas for the better. I so needed to hear that message today. I appreciate your thoughtful blog. It made me a better mom today.
Yeah! I needed to read this right now. Perfect!! Even though perfect does not exist. We have had a rough night. Rose is ill and now I am getting it. Plans are being cut back in my head as I write. Sometimes we need someone to help us realize what is right here! All the presents, baking, preparation we need. Now to sit back and enjoy what is really important instead of stressing. Family and friends are what i really important at this beautiful time of year. Thank you.
What a genuine, honest, sensible and practical post! I needed to read it right now as I had started out my day with big plans but didn’t achieve half of it. And now, as I write, my daughter and her friend are happily working on their fairy garden while I’m sipping tea and reading this. It was as if you wrote this for me!
It really takes so little to make days magical for our kids and in that lies our peace. Those ‘Pinterest’ pics may be so alluring to look at what with the perfect dinner table, the perfectly wrapped gifts and the perfect room decor – but – I’ve come to realize I can’t make my life picture-perfect!
I should try to achieve peace rather than perfection.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful post!
I love your post. This year through circumstance I was simply not able to do all the things I usually do at Christmas. Ironically I am actually looking forward to Christmas this year.
Well said! We have an advent calendar and have done about 6 out of 21 things ( what was I thinking?) my daughter doesn’t care… All she wants is time doing whatever. I can get carried away with a lot of holiday things, but have learned to do less in all areas of my life. It is a great reminder to realize we are all enough! Take care.
Letting go of our perfect, is perfect Alissa. While its very important this time of year because so much is going on, its something I struggle with trying to do every day. Its so very hard to balance it all – (now, is THAT my perfect, finding the balance?) – or trying so very hard to let go of your perfect, that you can’t truly let go, because that would be your perfect. Ha. Such a round-about thought… Here’s to 2012 and letting go of our perfects 🙂 We’ll do it together!
Thank you for writing the words I’m trying to live by. By finding the simple as opposed to becoming toxically consumed by what every one else is doing or making or has. But to live freely within your own means whatever that is…. My mantra of late is “it is what it is” I can’t change things, they are what they are. If I don’t finish then I’m ok with that. I love how you motioned that December shouldn’t hold all the fun for one year. I am so going to bring life to the rest of the year. Merry Christmas to you and yours….loved this post 🙂
Oh, wow I can so relate to this too! But you are absolutely right – it doesn’t need to be perfect (as my husband reminded me a couple of days ago too!) to be magical. I’ve been learning to let go a little more each year I think. And if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t sent any cards (for years), I haven’t done Christmas baking this year, I only put out maybe half of our decorations this year, I haven’t made our yearly family calendar that we give to our families every year, I pretty much started gift shopping yesterday (and finished today!), and my father-in-law thought it would be a wonderful surprise to unexpectedly arrive 3 days early (again)! But I’m not stressing about any of it! Much ;-p
Oh Alissa, what is amazing about this post is that you are the main reason I have been able to let go. I didn’t send out cards. I didn’t set up the elf wrapping station like I do every year. I didn’t make neighborhood gifts. But I have made peppermint play dough, read every single countdown post, relax, done a few things for myself and really enjoyed my kids. Thank you for everything you have done, everything you are and for being so honest!
Beautiful post. I had all these expectations for December and Christmas in general and feel that I am falling short and letting everyone down. I do need to step back and just enjoy my children and this special time.
x
This post made me teary, as if you were talking directly to me. I needed to read this, for sure. I needed to remember that even if it’s not how *I* wanted things to go, that as long as I’m trying to spend time with my son he’ll have magical memories. It’s hard not to get caught up in things. Tonight is typically the night we would have our great big dinner and open our pajama presents. We would wear the pajamas to go see some lights tomorrow night. My kitchen is not huge dinner worthy right now. I was stressing about it. About adding so much extra work on top of what I already have on my plate. Well, we decided to skip it this year. We’ll go out to eat at my son’s favorite sit down restaurant and see the lights *tonight*. We’ll still have a good meal, I just wont have to spend a day and a half cooking it. I think I’m finally more excited about this way, but it was so hard to let go. Thanks for reminding us all that it’s okay to not do it all.
I think that you have summed up in to words what a lot of us are going through this time of year. I made a commitment to avoid the commercialism of the season and focus, instead on activities which express the MEANING of Christmas, but this can still be stressful. Those of us who blog have the added stress of sacrificing content when we take a break from activities. It’s good to have this reminder of what is truly important.
Wow, I really needed that. It’s much too hard to be wonder woman. I think I needed to read this about 10 days ago ;-).
Yes! Relax, eat chocolates and snuggle your kids 🙂 Merry Christmas Alissa x
I think none of our lives are perfect… though often pretend or project that it is. Great post to stop and reflect and remember what is important and what isn’t!
Thanks
Maggy
You said it.
Last year I had that a’ha moment. Seriously it is just one day. People are not going to care if you forget the rockmelon.
It is about being in the moment and spending time with people you love.
Though it can be hard at times not to caught up with the perfect.
Thank you for a great post
Absolutely! It’s hard to let go of all those perfect ideas for Christmas. I thought for sure I’d make a ton of cookies, make a lot of gifts, etc. But, it hasn’t happened. We’ll still bake a batch of cookies this week (cause it’s fun) and I have one more gift I *must* make… but other than that it’s time to relax and enjoy!
Love your post!!
This year has been so much more relaxed than last year and I love it. I am trying to let go of the “finding the perfect” present goal… since it never happens. Some day. One of my friends does Christmas cards every other year and I am starting to think that might be a good idea.
You are fabulous! Great post!
Well said !
I had to let go this year as well. Half of my Christmas decor is still in there boxes, special notes in each Christmas card was not done, the advent calendar was done until about the 3rd of December, no Christmas party was thrown this year, etc. BUT, with all that out I’ve actually been stress-free! I just might need to edit my perfect for next year as well. 🙂
Thank you. I needed to read this today. After breaking down in tears yesterday because I’ve been sick for a week, haven’t baked a single holiday goodie, and my six year old isn’t going to have THE perfect thing that he wanted for Christmas under the tree, I too need to let go. As adults we forget that when you are six, you are just so darn happy that it is Christmas and there are presents under the tree with YOUR name on them, that it doesn’t really matter what it is you are getting, you are just happy to be celebrating.
Yes, yes and yes. Somewhere along the line these past few years I became obsessed with buying the PERFECT gift for everyone in my family. This year I realized that I really can’t afford to spend the time or the money doing that, so I just found little gifts, wrapped them and then stressed about sending them to Alaska. But, just having a little something under the tree for my parents and nieces and nephews is enough. Like you said. It’s enough. And they will think of us down here as they unwrap their trinkets. 🙂 ps. you are doing a great job, Mama!
You got it! Nothing to add here 🙂
Hug