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How to Use Journaling in Relationships – 12 Prompts to Deepen Love

BySK Lumen

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There are many ways to enrich and strengthen your relationship without spending a fortune or requiring a lot of effort.

A great way to reconnect with your partner and remind yourselves why you chose one another is to use journaling prompts and meditate over what each of you wrote. Journaling is a tool that can help couples in the honeymoon phase and married couples enjoying their 30th anniversary. Here are 12 thought-provoking prompts to get you started.

How Journaling Can Help Relationships

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First, let’s go over the benefits of journaling. It’s a great practice you can start as a couple, similar to couples counseling but in the comfort of your own home and at no cost.

 

Journaling is a way of creating a safe space, fostering empathy, improving communication and trust, and opening up about various thoughts, concerns, or feelings. Perhaps the bustle of your daily life doesn’t allow for more vulnerable conversations. Journaling is the perfect way to initiate these conversations and make a weekly habit of holding space for each other.

 

Setting up a Safe Space for Journaling

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Journaling once a week is a good place to start, but you can journal as often as you want. All you need is a pen and a notebook (or two). Next, pick a time and place that fits both your schedules and allows you to be in the right headspace to initiate vulnerable conversations and focus on each other.

 

The point is to dedicate a quiet time for journaling together, whether 5 minutes or 1 hour. Add some relaxing music in the background and light a candle to make this practice more special.

 

#1: What Made You Fall in Love With Your Partner?

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Think about the first moments you met and your dating phase. What was it about your partner that made you fall for them? List all the things, including physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual traits.

 

Nothing is irrelevant. They are all things that brought you together and deserve to be celebrated and shared. Let them know how much you appreciate those traits, habits, or unique quirks about them.

 

#2: Share Three Things About Each Other That You’re Grateful For

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Sharing things you’re grateful for about each other is a wonderful way to feel good in the relationship and boost romance. It can be small gestures or habits like your partner making your coffee each morning or cutting the crust off your sandwich.

 

It can be how they make you feel safe whenever they hold you or how they cheer for you with bold words of encouragement. Whatever it is, write as many as you can think of, and then have fun comparing notes (and let yourself enjoy the compliments!).

 

#3: What Does a Perfect Date Look Like?

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Have you ever wondered what a perfect date looks like for your partner or vice versa? Use this prompt to write down your ideal date and compare notes.

 

Discuss their similarities or differences and why those things matter to you. See how you can unite them or plan both to appease each other. In truth, people feel most appreciated and loved when their partner honors their love language and the specific way they need to feel appreciated.

 

#4: What New and Exciting Things Would You Like to Try Together?

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This prompt is perfect for couples feeling stuck in a rut or craving something new in the relationship. Brainstorm and write down the most exciting things that come to mind, and discuss them at length and how you can integrate them into your schedule.

 

It could be going to the gym together, traveling to a new place, playing board games, or simply cooking new recipes every Saturday night. The choice is all yours.

 

#5: What Are Some Relationship Deal Breakers for You?

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If you haven’t yet discussed this topic, it’s a powerful and important conversation to have. Write down all the non-negotiable deal breakers that you can think about. Take your time, and don’t rush through this process, even if it takes hours.

 

These are essential things to share as soon as possible in a relationship and equally meaningful for long-term couples to remember each other’s standards and boundaries so each can honor them accordingly.

 

#6: How Would You Like to Grow as a Couple Next Year?

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This is a great question in general, but especially around New Year Resolutions. Making plans and growing together is one of the most romantic things you can do as a couple.

 

Write down what you would like to prioritize for next year and in what way you want to help nurture the relationship. Exchange notes and discuss why those things are important to you and how you can turn them into reality.

 

#7: The First Time You Said “I Love You” to Each Other

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Do you remember the first time you said “I love you” to each other? Write about the moment in as much detail as you can. Share these moments and treasure them. It might have been a completely random moment, in the middle of a rollercoaster ride while you were feeling on top of the world, or just feeling at peace in their arms at night.

 

However it happened, it’s a special moment worth savoring and immortalizing into words, even to read years later.

 

#8: What Was Your First Impression of Your Partner?

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What was your first impression of your partner the first time you met? What were the first things you noticed about them? Was it their smile, their humor or some other unique quality? Maybe you were impressed by how smart and knowledgeable they seemed about various topics or their playful and vibrant energy. Try to remember those first impressions and let it bring you closer.

 

#9: Write Why Your Relationship Is Worth Fighting For

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This prompt taps into gratitude journaling and sharing positive qualities you see in each other. Not only this, you can also meditate on why you make such a great team as a couple and how you complement or balance each other in beautiful ways.

 

Or maybe the reasons you feel the relationship is worth fighting for is because your partner makes you feel safe and appreciated – whatever it is, share these reasons with each other. Hearing your partner exclaim why you’re worth fighting for is a wonderful way to strengthen your bond.

 

#10: Do Your Parents Have Any Impact on Your Relationship?

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Our upbringing and dynamic with our parents significantly impact our attachment styles as adults and how we view relationships. Meditate over this question and see if there’s a relation between the two, and if yes, why.

 

Make sure to avoid judgment or criticism, and hold space for your partner to open up about any memories that may be difficult to reveal. For instance, anxiously attached people often grow up in chaotic households, while avoidants feel their independence and identity are threatened.

 

#11: What Was Your Favorite Moment Together?

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Try to recall your most recent favorite moment together and why. Go into as much detail as you want about the memory, and share generously with your partner what made that moment heartwarming and unforgettable.

 

Maybe it was a time when you laughed until your stomach hurt, were playful and open, had an amazing epiphany together, or felt deeply connected.

 

#12: Reflect on a Challenge That You Overcame Together

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Think about a challenging time when you had to overcome various fears, triggers, limited beliefs, or bad habits – challenges that ultimately brought you closer together. Reflect on how this strengthened your bond and helped you grow as a couple, and then share notes.

 

It Doesn't Need to Be Perfect

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Journaling doesn't have to be an overwhelming task. You can use these prompts and jot down short notes or doodles in whatever way suits you. The benefit comes in the communication, not in making extensive journal entries. Give it a try and see if you discover something new together!