Building Yourself Up – 10 Phrases to Get Rid of Negative Self Talk
Have you ever found yourself going down, down, down and and you hear your inner voice tell you, “You’re a bad mom. You’re ruining your kids. What’s wrong with you!?” If you’ve read my post on Banishing the Should Mama, you know that I certainly have those moments.
My dad used to sing this song when I was a kid and the chorus went:
Oops, you made a mistake,
And you’re beautiful,
You’re beautiful,
Oops you made a mistake,
and you’re beautiful to me.
I think we could all use that message from time to time.
You do not deserve to be berated by anyone, including yourself.
The next time you feel yourself spinning into that negative self talk, try canceling it out and building yourself up with some of these phrases.
- Breathe, just BREATHE.
- I am strong.
- I can change course right now.
- I am learning. You can’t learn without making mistakes.
- I am loved. I can speak to myself like the beloved person that I am.
- I am empowered to make changes and discard what is no longer working for my family.
- I don’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t matter that I’m not perfect.
- My kids don’t want perfect, they want me.
- If I’m damning myself, chances are I’m damning others. If I’m forgiving myself, chances are I’m forgiving others.
Related: Getting Rid of the Mom Guilt
When we can trust that learning comes out of making mistakes and making readjustments, then we can encourage growth. When we find compassion for ourselves in our lowest moment, we expand our ability to find compassion for our children as well.
You are not alone. We all have our parenting dark pits. You will not help yourself get out of the dark pit by flogging yourself with harsh words. You are loved.
Oops, you made a mistake and you’re beautiful to me.
64 Positive Things to Say to Kids
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Maybe this is the song?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XxXwp2AQSnw
Hi Ann,
Your comment inspired me to write a whole post – you can find it here: http://bouncebackparenting.com/heres-what-kids-want-most/
It’s something I’ve wanted to write about for a long time, and until you wrote I didn’t know how, so thank you very, very much.
~Alissa
This is spot on! Thank you so much. I too would love to know the song (words of). That is so precious that you have a recording of your Dad singing it. He sounds like he was an amazing Dad. I often feel like a horrible Mum. It amazes me when someone gives me a compliment like ‘you’re the best Mum’, ‘you’re a great Mum’, etc. I guess there is such pressure to be the perfect Mother and have the perfect children/family that we sometimes forget it’s okay to be human… it’s okay to make mistakes… we’re still beautiful. Thank you and bless you. x
Thank you for this, this has really helped me. It’s nice knowing I am not alone. Thank you again.
Ashley Anderson Rothbarth
Shannon Dunbar Jennifer Kennedy Ashley Christner Amanda Moison post these everywhere! Love you Mommas
sometimes I know I can’t read your posts because it’s inconvenient to cry, haha. THIS ONE snuck up on me! thank you x2! xx Angela
In a world where we see so many blogs and Pinners showing only the fun, creative focused parts of parenting it is so nice not to feel alone in the imperfect job of being a mama. Thank you for showing the real sides of parenting and giving such simple advice to help us all feel worthy.
I would love the words and tune to that song!
I would love to find who wrote it – I have a recording of my dad singing it, but he died years ago, so I need to do a bit more digging to find out where the song came from. I’m so glad he sang it to me, such a good message 🙂
Thank you for this. This applies to all parts of life. So often I trash talk myself in career, friendships, creativity….the list goes on. We block our own path to growth, adventure and happiness.