Have you ever found yourself going down, down, down and and you hear your inner voice tell you, “You’re a bad mom. You’re ruining your kids. What’s wrong with you!?” If you’ve read my post on Banishing the Should Mama, you know that I certainly have those moments.
My dad used to sing this song when I was a kid and the chorus went:
Oops, you made a mistake,
And you’re beautiful,
Oops you made a mistake,
and you’re beautiful to me.
I think we could all use that message from time to time.
You do not deserve to be berated by anyone, including yourself.
The next time you feel yourself spinning into that negative self talk, try canceling it out and building yourself up with some of these phrases.
- Breathe, just BREATHE.
- I am strong.
- I can change course right now.
- I am learning. You can’t learn without making mistakes.
- I am loved. I can speak to myself like the beloved person that I am.
- I am empowered to make changes and discard what is no longer working for my family.
- I don’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t matter that I’m not perfect.
- My kids don’t want perfect, they want me.
- If I’m damning myself, chances are I’m damning others. If I’m forgiving myself, chances are I’m forgiving others.
Related: Getting Rid of the Mom Guilt
When we can trust that learning comes out of making mistakes and making readjustments, then we can encourage growth. When we find compassion for ourselves in our lowest moment, we expand our ability to find compassion for our children as well.
You are not alone. We all have our parenting dark pits. You will not help yourself get out of the dark pit by flogging yourself with harsh words. You are loved.
Oops, you made a mistake and you’re beautiful to me.
About the Author
Alissa is a resilience coach, cartoonist, and advocate for ‘connection, not perfection’. She’s dedicated to helping others find a sense of safety and belonging inside themselves so they can heal, connect, and build authentic, joyful lives.