Bounceback Parenting

resilient relationships for families

Dealing with Anger

Learning how to handle anger whether you’re and angry parent or a parent dealing with an angry child is one of the most emotionally taxing, yet beneficial challenges we face as parents. Why beneficial? Because there is no one else like your child to motivate you to find healthy responses to anger, and the emotional work you do now will serve you the rest of your life. This intense emotion is hard to control and can be very scary. This is a loving space to learn about handling your anger or the anger of your kids.

I never knew I had a temper until I had kids.

Dealing with anger has been one of the most difficult and humbling parts of parenting for me, so as best I can, I share what I learn along the way.

If you’d like to find way to deal with anger and stop yelling at your kids, these resources are for you.  You are not alone – many of us struggle to deal with anger as we never learned healthy ways to handle this strong emotion.

Great resources to help you deal with anger as a parent

This is me the day I asked my then 7 year old what I look like when I’m angry. We had a little photo shoot. He was saying “Yes! Like that…ok, only meaner!”

I hope the books and links on this page help you find the tools you need to bring some more peace to your home.  I will update this page as I learn more about how to deal with anger.  Let me know if there is a resource you think belongs here.

Bounce Back Parenting works to provide a safe space to talk about anger and parenting.  Thank you for being respectful in your comments.

 Breaking the Rage and Anger Cycle – RIGHT NOW

Anger is not an unhealthy emotion, but the ways we deal with anger sure can be. When you feel stuck being angry or rageful it tends to lead to guilt and shame, making you feel terrible, and more likely to snap and yell, leading to more guilt – yuck. These posts can help you break this cycle and begin the momentum to grow from your anger as you learn healthy ways to deal with it.

  • Dealing with Parenting Rage – A few strategies for how to deal with anger in those moments when you can’t pass the parenting to another adult.

Prevent Yelling

  • Learn Your Anger Triggers – We often forget that simple things can cause us background stress.  Is this why you’re yelling?
  • The Stop Yelling Challenge – This is a support group run by Amanda of the site Dirt and Boogers.  Join and find a community of kind, non-judgmental folks with a common goal.

Dealing With Guilt

Taking Care of Yourself to Make Dealing with Anger Easier

When You’re Angry Because Your Kids are Angry

  • You Can be Kind, They can be Angry – My biggest misperception, that has caused a lot of anger, frustration and confusion was that if I was kind and consistent, my kids would do what I asked…turns out I needed to learn more about the business of setting limits and dealing with angry feelings from others.

Books on  dealing with anger and positive parenting

Below I’ve listed a handful of my favorite books.

The back of this book has sections which list behaviors and how to respond to them.  Make sure to get the updated edition in which they no longer support spanking. Gives you the framework to understand your child’s most frustrating behaviors and learn how to help them be successful and fun to live with instead. A starting point for any parent wanting to break the cycle of yelling/hitting/shame and switch to a positive, intentional style of parenting. Since I’ve started using Amy’s tools my kids are fighting less and I’m feeling more empowered and much less angry.  She also has a video course I highly recommend.

To find a more complete listing including books on parenting an intense child, sibling rivalry and more go to:

More Resources for Dealing with Anger:

The Orange Rhino – Fantastic site all about a mom’s journey to stop yelling.  Lots of alternatives to yelling, help for how to deal with anger.

Stop Yelling Webinars – Free hour long webinar that you watch on your tablet or computer and you can ask questions in the text chat.

Stop the Yelling! Resource list for dealing with parenting anger and finding positive parenting tools

How to Stay Calm and Get Your Child to Stop Yelling at You

As I mentioned before, loud noise is definitely one of my anger triggers. My kids know this anger trigger well, and inadvertently I taught them that yelling, or complaining really loudly for a long time is a great way to hit my buttons. Since I had few tools in the past to handle yelling, [...]Continue Reading

Gifts of a Bike Crash – Healing the Scrapes on your Soul

This week I had an experience that gave me a physical reminder about how important it is to care for myself if I want to be a connected, positive parent. I took a fall on my bike and managed to very badly scrape my forearm. It was gross. I won't go into it more, but it's the kind of wound that [...]Continue Reading

Anxious Kiddo? Get Back Calm With These Basic Questions

Do your kids ever get into an anxious, fragile state? Ready to meltdown at anything? Over the years I've found that some times my son's temper is much more even keeled than others, and the good news is that at this point I have a better handle on what to do when I see us heading into a more [...]Continue Reading

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Hi, I’m Alissa, a mom to three learning alongside you as we build connected, resilient families.

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